ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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