And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well I just put wine in my tea
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
