Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
