I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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