im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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