hell yes lets make some ravioli
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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