how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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