I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
