I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
