so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
