benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
