So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
