it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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