I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
