i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
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Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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