you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
