So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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