I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
