we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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