she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think your dad took our porno
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
