I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
