Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
40s are totally the cure
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
