my phone needs a breathalizer
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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