The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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