There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
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I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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