I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
