Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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