Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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