hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
