He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
