My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
