I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
