? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
