I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize