i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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