Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
