My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I still have a little drunk in my system
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
