Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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