The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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