my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
