i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
