New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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