What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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