I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
