Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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