I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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