but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
