i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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