she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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