is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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