I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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