He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
