My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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