hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Terrible idea I love it
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
