Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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