my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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