I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
