Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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