We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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