okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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