I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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