i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
