Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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