I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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