I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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