covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Randomize
