dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
