i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
