Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
